Behind These Hazel Eyes
by PotionGirlie
Summary: I wanted to hate him. I needed to hate him. Yet, I loved him.


Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter and related parties. The song is also property of Kelly Clarkson and can be found on the Breakaway album.

_Behind These Hazel Eyes_

Seems like just yesterday

You were a part of me

Hermione pulled herself up the last stair. She had made it, made it to her secret spot. Not even Sirius knew of this place. There was a small attic in the tallest taller of Grimuald Place and connected to it was a balcony large enough for one.

I used to stand so tall

I used to be so strong

Lightening flashed in the distance and the air was heavy with a coming storm. But Hermione didn't care. She just knew that she couldn't let Him see her cry. After all, she had said she hated him and didn't need him in the first place.

Your arms around me tight

Everything, it felt so right

Unbreakable, like nothin' could go wrong

Hermione closed her eyes as the memories returned. She smiled as the thought of their first date came to mind. It had been a Hogsmeade weekend. With a flushed face, she had accepted his hurried invitation, knowing his fear was as genuine as hers. After a few spilled butterbeers and awkward silences, things had evened out. By the end of the afternoon, she had dared to reach out and grasp his hand.

Now I can't breathe

No, I can't sleep

I'm barely hanging on

A sharp pain wretched through her chest. She knew this feeling. It was as though her heart was breaking...again. These pains had become part of her life, sneaking up on her in the most unexpected moments.

Here I am, once again

I'm torn into pieces

Can't deny it, can't pretend

Just thought you were the one

Broken up, deep inside

But you won't get to see the tears I cry

Behind these hazel eyes

I told you everything

Opened up and let you in

Another part of her past came seeping through the walls she had tried so hard to build up. This time, she returned to the night she had been told of her parents death, victims of Voldemort's unspeakable wrath. He had stayed with her all night, rocking her as she cried, rubbed her back when she restlessly tried to sleep, and held her hair back as she retched at the horror of having her parents taken away from her so early in her life.

You made me feel alright

For once in my life

He was there as her wounds slowly healed. He helped her to learn that it was alright to laugh, to smile, to be happy. She knew that, without him, her pain would have pushed her to the point of joining her parents.

Now all that's left of me

Is what I pretend to be

So together, but so broken up inside

A roll of thunder broke Hermione from her thoughts. Now here she was, after everything they had been through, hiding from Him. She couldn't let Him see the pain he caused; He couldn't know that she really did still love him. She tried hard to put her face back on, stony and unsmiling, but she did not have the energy to pretend anymore.

'Cause I can't breathe

No, I can't sleep

I'm barely hangin' on

Here I am, once again

I'm torn into pieces

Can't deny it, can't pretend

Just thought you were the one

Broken up, deep inside

But you won't get to see the tears I cry

Behind these hazel eyes

Swallow me then spit me out

The thunder became more frequent, and the storm drew closer. As the humidity in the air increased, Hermione's breaths became more deep and frequent. She felt her sadness turning to anger. Who was He to hurt her like that? Did He know what it felt like to have his heart ripped from the one person he allowed in?

For hating you, I blame myself

She leaned forward grasping the bars of the balcony with both hands. As much as she wanted, she couldn't bring herself to hate him. She couldn't pinpoint what she was hanging onto, but it was there. Was it His kiss? His touch? His smile? His laugh?

Seeing you it kills me now

She squeezed the steel until her knuckles turned white. She felt her heart begin to race and her vision become fuzzy. Just thinking about having to face him brought upon such apprehension.

No, I don't cry on the outside

Anymore...

The rain came, pouring in sheets, almost louder than the thunder as it hit the steel siding of the home. Hermione was soon drenched, but she could no longer feel the cold as the water seeped through her clothing. She just wanted everything to stop, right there. She didn't want to feel anymore...

Here I am, once again

I'm torn into pieces

She felt two arms wrap around her waist lifting her into an upright position. The grip was crushing, though not painful.

Can't deny it, can't pretend

Just thought you were the one

A face nuzzled into her hair, then down to her neck. He softly kissed her neck once, the rain running off His nose and dripping onto her shoulder. / 

Broken up, deep inside

But you won't get to see the tears I cry

"Hermione..." He breathed into her ear. She wanted to push away, to wrench herself from his arms. She didn't want to be so comfortable, so happy to have him there. Her tears began to mix with the raindrops on her cheeks. / 

Behind these hazel eyes

"Hermione, I love you."

She turned around briskly, her eyes instantly locking with His. They were ablaze with an emerald fire, full of pain and hurt and...hope. She lifted her arm and brushed away a stray lock of hair. Electricity went through her skin, straight from her fingertips to her toes. Her senses were in overload, every sound drowned out by the blood pumping through her veins. She could smell His scent of old spice and herbs mixing with the scent of a summer storm.

Without realizing what was happening, her fingers ran through his hair to the nape of his neck, pulling his head down towards hers. His lips crashed onto hers, causing the electricity within in her to explode. Lightening crashed around them, thunder ringing out. But nothing mattered. His arms wrapped around her tightly, pulling her to her toes. She pushed her tongue to his lips, with almost immediate entry.

An emotion ripped through her soul, causing the same pain within her. She broke away, drawing in a deep gasp.

His eyes searched her face in concern. "What's wrong?"

She smiled at him recognizing feeling that had come to her. "I love you too, Harry."

Here I am, once again

I'm torn into pieces

Can't deny it, can't pretend

Just thought you were the one

Broken up, deep inside

But you won't get to see the tears I cry

Behind these hazel eyes


End file.
